Sex Position Of The Week - Sex and Lifestyle Blog - When Sex Turns Hilarious

Today we are going to share some of the funniest things people have had said to them during sex. Sex can be hilarious and a little weird after all.

Sex is great after all but some things can get lost in translation, or just should be said whilst getting down and dirty.

We start with first time sex -

"It's just like putting in a big tampon!"

It was her first time so she was on top fumbling around for awhile, and when she finally got it in she let out a happy little squeak and said that with the proudest expression on her face.

Try to leave movies outside the bedroom, unless its 50 shades of grey -

''My wife after sex once turned round to me and said "That'll do pig. That'll do."''

Quotes from Babe are never going to go down well.

A bit of wizardry is probably a bit strange to.

Shazam he said as he came, was that the day he became a man?

Maybe bringing up a tv show you watched earlier isn't the best thing for getting hot and steamy - unless you like the kind of thing.

We had been talking about vikings jokingly earlier so mid session she calls out "Pillage my village!" We didn't finish because we couldn't stop laughing for the next 20 minutes.

And finally we move onto food. as we all now food play can be awesome. licking fresh cream off each other etc etc but not when your partner doesn't know and not when you drop a food stuff into a sexy sentence or when food can make you sore.-

"Are you eating gummy worms?"

We were going Doggy style and I didn't think she would notice.

A Swinging Club For Everyone - Jaydees Adult Lifestyle Club.

Jaydees is an Adult Lifestyle Club just 3 miles off the A1 near st noets in Berkshire, so is easy to get to and its set on its own grounds and farm land, it is also very discrete. This Adult Lifestyle club run regular swingers nights in their fully equipped venue. The club is 5000sq ft and has everything you need for a great night.

Jaydees Adult Lifestyle Swingers Club

As you arrive there is free parking, you are then welcomed into reception and greeted by the owners and staff, all of whom are welcoming, kind and friendly. There is nothing to much trouble. After paying your small fee to enter, we were taken on a guided tour.

There is a large dance floor and disco area with chairs around the outside and a pole to the centre. After all you cant have a great disco in a swingers club with out a pole. The dj played a mixture of music all night that suited everyones tastes. Next to the dance floor is the dedicated bar area. You have to bring your own alcohol to Jaydees which is good, as this eliminates any high costs of being charged for drink at a bar. You leave your beverages at the bar which is manned by staff at all times. Opposite the bar the club had also put on a small buffet. For larger events the bar area can be opened up into a large marque. They have an alcohol policy and do not condone drinking to excess, after all no one likes a drunk.

Jaydees Kitchen 

Leading from the bar area is a kitchen, where tea and coffee is provided. You will always find men in the kitchen at a party, and this one has a seating area to. The kitchen leads to 3 places, you can go out the doors to the heated large outdoor smoking area, which is full equipped with seating and tables. or you can go through the door which leads you to the hot tub (which seats 8) and sauna area, the showers, lockers,  and private playrooms. Or up the stairs you go to the playrooms upstairs.

There are 7 private playrooms and these can be locked. You can book these rooms if you'd like to spend the night. One of the rooms had their resident photographer who can take a set of photos for you, anything you like from portraits to something a bit raunchy. The session was free and so were the photos, as the photographer love his job. These photos are not given to anyone apart from you or used for anything else by the photographer or club, they are purely yours.

So we take you upstairs, there are several play spaces up here, all public. There are several pieces of furniture scatter around, i.e spanking benches, crosses etc , that can be used, if you want to, there is also a large bed in the centre. There is plenty of seating everywhere in Jaydees. At the far left is a couples only room, featuring a large circular bed and seating, only couples can enter this room, and any singles have to be invited. This is a great concept.

Jaydees Play Area 

Jaydees hold different nights every month, some are themed nights, from naughty nighties, newbie night, couples nights and BBW nights. We know no matter what night you attend you will feel comfortable and welcome in this non pushy, friendly club. As not only is this club amazing, the people are also amazing to. The hospitality is superb.